As I reflect back, it seems like the past year went by so fast like every other year. The last day of the year I had a mixed feeling, one that was clubbed with excitement, pride, happiness and discontent. Excitement for the new beginnings, proud of my accomplishments and the contributions I made towards my family and work, happy with the meaningful connections and the progress I made, dissatisfied with not having achieved my goal that I set out to achieve. But as I dig deep, look down the trail and reflect upon my journey, I realize that the past year has blessed me with key learnings so significant and invaluable that I can carry them forward to make this year an extraordinary year, a year of possibilities.
I had the fear of heights and water for years. Last year I ventured into both these territories, yes.. drove into my fear zones with some support. I started off with snorkeling mid-year and towards the end of the year also did paragliding which opened up an entirely new world to me. It was not that the fear had gone, I was still fearful and holding my instructor tight but at the same time I was enjoying every moment. I could feel the thrill of the adrenaline rush inside my body. Stepping into the discomfort zone gave me an opportunity to see the world with a new lens. In fact I can now firmly say that the act was not as fearful as the thought.
Paragliding, I saw the big picture. I saw a helicopter view of the beautiful town below, the snow clad majestic mountains, the lush green valley, the still water and ice in the river, the tiny little houses. Everything else seemed so insignificant. I was completely mesmerized, dumbstruck with the beauty, so present in the moment. Those moments were utter bliss. Had I not taken the plunge what a lost opportunity it would have been!
When I recall that experience, I can still feel the cold breeze blowing on my face, my heart pounding fast when moving close to the big bold mountains, my body light, legs swaying in the air, relaxed feeling, appreciating the creator, his creation and wondering if we care enough to save the planet for the next generation to experience the same!
That experience gave me the confidence, the courage to face fear head-on. I now truly believe, Courage is not the absence of fear but facing it and doing the thing that we are fearful of anyway. I know that the strength that I have gathered from facing the fear will help me in many ways. I am more ready to step up now than ever.
Pay attention to the fear when it shows up in thinking. I realize that the fear I had was only holding me back from possibilities, limiting my growth opportunities. Probably, It was doing its job to keep me in the safety net, in the comfort zone.
What is the fear telling you? The vital question to ask is ‘What is holding on to the fear costing you? Is it holding you back or bringing your awareness to something? Dig dip into the fear. Listen to it. Treat it like a friend and then make a choice to agree or disagree. Fear is not fearful as we think it is. The thought is scarier. Doing things that are uncomfortable doing might open up doors of possibilities.
Face the fear.
As I moved closer to the mountains, I felt the pine trees were whispering to me about how they shed off the leaves in the winter and make space for new growth. They were also telling me to do the same thing – to let go of beliefs that don’t serve me and create space for new liberating thoughts and make room for possibilities just like they do. They were teaching me an important lesson.
Similar to mine, I often hear other limiting beliefs which goes like “I am too young and don’t have enough experience to apply for this job”, “I am not good at presentations”, “I always fail eventually”. Instead of believing them, question these assumptions. Challenge them. Evaluate the story. Is it true, partially true or situational? Research shows us that when we are fearful and worry, it uses up valuable working-memory resources. It diminishes our working memory just enough so our brain can’t perform at its best.
As I did, now is the time to let go of the stories we tell ourselves. It’s time to let go of the old beliefs that hold us back and replace them with empowering beliefs like “I am young and can bring in new perspectives, new ideas that can add value to the job”.
Revise your story. Use your brain power wisely.
My instructor Andrea skillfully maneuvered between the mountains balancing between controlling the glider and hovering up and down like a roller coaster with his master gliding strokes. That allowed me to zoom out and see the big picture and also zoom in, experience the thrill and feel the moment.
Ability to zoom out and zoom in is a skill that can be applied in a wide range of contexts from work to life. It is key leadership trait that is useful in Team building says Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence guru and author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence in this article . ‘If we can zoom out beyond our own perspective, leaders can help teams to reach the goals more quickly’
Sometimes we get so carried away with our need to be right that we fail to see the big picture of why we are doing what we are doing. Ego, arguments, biases come in between and ‘WHY’ is lost in the way. Renowned neuroscientist Dr. Richard Davidson who is best known for his groundbreaking work on emotions and the brain tell us that we need to be attentionally flexible, so we can expand or contract our focus, like a zoom lens, to see elements big and small.
Be the zoom lens.
Until next…
Keep Smiling!
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