How many times have you found yourself seeking instant gratification from the Instagram photos, FB likes or Twitter followers?
You post and then eagerly wait for someone to like or comment. When someone does that, you feel so good. The dopamine hit triggers a vicious cycle of notification and gratification. What is set out to be a quick 10-minute check-in sucks hours and hours of your time. In fact not only time, but it’s also an energy buster.
It provides a “false” sense of happiness. In fact, there are reports of the associated stress. This is because subconsciously something else also happens. You get into the comparison or envy trap. Sometimes these are “false comparisons”. Like what Author Paul Jarvis says. You compare your messy selves to only the best and shiniest parts of others and you feel like you have come up short. You compare yourselves to a colleague whom you think has an ideal partner, to a friend’s friend who has the perfect photoshopped picture, a distant relative who has become the VP of a large MNC.
These are slow poisons of the mind. Research psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky in her book ‘The How of Happiness’ says,
“People who pay too much attention to social comparisons find themselves chronically vulnerable, threatened, and insecure.”
They tend to see what they “believe” they don’t have. It’s like when the glass is tinted, everything looks grey. With this frame of mind, it’s difficult to see the things that you actually DO have in life.
Besides limiting the amount of time you spend on instant gratifications and avoiding social comparisons, a great way to rewire your brain and experience long-lasting happiness is to express gratitude.
Make gratitude a habit.
I constantly remind myself of Marshall Goldsmith’s words “Never complain because the airplane is late.” In their book, ‘Leading with Gratitude’, authors Adrian Gostick and Chestor Elton share easy ways to add more gratitude to the everyday work environment to enhance team performance, efficiency, and profitability.
At the start of every day after my shower, I think of at least one thing I am grateful for. This not only makes me happy but changes my outlook for the day.
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